Now they are classic, historical, old or, simply put affectionately, old pottery. But there was a time when they were "The brand new car", cars that left the dealerships in the middle of a ritual that, on the other hand, has not changed substantially today. Or yes: Today, buying a new vehicle is a very measured process that is not always without problems; But thirty years ago, a series of situations worthy of a script could happen that would delight Berlanga himself.
In this series of stories it's not about pointing fingers to some brands more than others, or to put dealers in the trigger that, in many cases, still exist. Not even remotely; However, they serve to make us realize that, three decades ago, buying a new car could turn into a real nightmare.
It is important that the reader knows that the bizarre situations that are going to be collected here THEY ARE ABSOLUTELY REAL. Its protagonists - with names and surnames to which a monument should be dedicated - have told their cases to the author who signs these lines in a direct way. There are no intermediaries. And above all and paramount: There is no human imagination capable of inventing these stories. Let's go with the first ...
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The most expensive Bocanegra in the world
The small green sports car was waiting at one of the brand's best-known dealerships in Madrid. It was the month of July 1980. A SEAT Bocanegra Brand new, the lifelong illusion of Victor Manuel Acosta, its now brand new owner. A little refresher before you wear it… marking 100 kilometers on your odometer.
"I think they are usually found with 10 kilometers traveled at most, but so many is not normal", comments the excited owner. "Indeed, the car was not in this dealership, and we brought it from another", You get a response from the diligent salesperson. The inspection continues. Full of an illusion that does not stop, the owner opens the trunk and the spare wheel is, But it's not yours!
Thus begins the pleasant buyer-seller colloquial chat, which continues as follows:
– «Hey, this is the 1200, and this car is a 1430».
- "Oh yeah? Boy, call the central office and ask if they have wheels from this car! ... Nothing? ... Well, let me make you a voucher for a spare tire, and come here from time to time in case we have brought it » .
- "Very good… By the way, the user manual? »
"Isn't he there either? Well, have another voucher for a manual, and when you come for the wheel ... »
- "Thanks a lot. And in the boot lid, as you can see, there are four holes, two on the left side and two on the right, but the little signs for Sport and 1430 are missing »
- "Do not tell me…! Boy, go to the store and get the posters of this car, and put them on!»
Meanwhile, the customer and the diligent salesman go for a coffee at the corner bar. On the way back, the first one reviews the little signs and ...
[su_quote] - «Excuse me, but the little signs are from 128 and 1200, that is, that are not from this car. "
- «Boy, don't you know, take away the little signs that are not his! Ahem, well you'll excuse me, but we don't have the ones for the car. Don't worry, have a voucher for two little signs and when you come for the other thing, ask if they have already brought them ». [/ Su_quote]
But before leaving the premises, one last suggestion from the vendor:
[su_quote] - “By the way, Will you pay the luxury tax? I tell you because if you don't do it you save 4.000 pesetas from the 15.000 fee you have to pay »
- "And is it mandatory to pay for it?"
- "No man no! Are you going to sell the car between now and tomorrow? No, then, calm down. And if you ever want to get rid of it, do you see the number here, on this side of the hood? Well, with a screwdriver he scrapes it until it can't be read and he throws the car down a ravine. And that's it! ».
- «Well, well, I'm taking the car ... Goodbye good morning".[/ su_quote]
A Seat Bocanegra to not sleep
After collecting the keys, a pile of vouchers, the savings on the luxury tax and the car, the still happy owner leaves the premises managed by the talkative salesman.
One month after, el bocanegra go back to the dealership. Or rather, to the dealer's workshop. The owner has observed "a glow" on the outside of the vehicle every time he takes the keys out of the ignition at night.
[su_quote] - «Mariano, have you seen anything outside, as if the street were lighting up?» [/ su_quote]
After ruling out temporary alienation, the cause is found: The spontaneous ignition of the headlights each time the action of removing the key is carried out. The real fault: The Bocanegra electric fan is connected to the lighting system and, when activated, connects the general electrical system. But, in addition, the small sports car has detached the right panel of the door.
[su_quote] - "Can you adjust it for me?"
- «Of course, we asked Barcelona for the piece, and it was solved. Don't worry. ”[/ Su_quote]
A month and a half later, the car is finished. The panel is the same, but with three perfectly visible self-tapping screws that will prevent any future movement.
[su_quote] - «Here are your keys. Go to checkout, and everything solved.
- «But the car is not under warranty. It will be a mistake ”, thinks the previously excited owner.
- "They are 8.000 pesetas"
- "How, but is it not covered by the warranty?"
[/ su_quote]
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[your_quote]
- "How, but is it not covered by the warranty?"
- “No, you have tampered with the connector, and it is not of this brand. You have lost the warranty »
- "But what does it say? I have not touched anything. Can I have the connector you removed? "
- «We're sorry, but we throw away those things. You have to pay".
[/ su_quote]
8.000 pesetas and a lost guarantee, he goes to Bocanegra, once green and now white with the dust in the backyard. And to make matters worse, with the windows open. When getting on, one last observation: The car smells like hell. After a first glance, and without the need for an exhaustive investigation, the owner realizes what is happening in the back seat.
[su_quote] - «Hey, yes, yes, you, the shop manager! Would you be so kind as to sit in the car for a minute and look back? "
- «And now what happens to him? Let's see, let's see that I sit down and look… By God, what a smell! Fuck the milk ... The cat has given birth again! Boy, bring a wet cloth and rub all that paste back there! "
- «Don't even think about it, I'll clean it, I'll take the car…. And they don't see my hair here in their life! "[/ Su_quote]
A Bocanegra for the Treasury
A decade later, and a few hundred thousand pesetas more, the Bocanegra changed ownership. Of course, in perfect working order and being the most expensive model of the brand in history.
Epilogue: Two years later, a letter is received at the owner's address, with sender from the Ministry of Finance: "You must pay, within a week, the amount of 200.000 pesetas, taxes included, corresponding to the lack of payment of the Luxury Tax of the vehicle ..."
The owner showed up with the car keys in hand, at the Tax Office to deliver the Bocanegra ... "Stay with him, because I cannot pay what you are asking me for."
In the end it was possible to pay, although the tribulations until the sale of the vehicle did not end here. But that's another story ...